July 18, 2015

It's Back

July 5, 2015

A fortnight ago (‘fortnight’ is your word of the day) we had a heat wave that sent temperatures to record highs. It lasted seven days and, because central air conditioning in Europe is about as prevalent as donuts, towards the end it didn’t matter how many fans were blowing on me, I couldn’t sleep. I must have gained a kilo eating popsicles. I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t have my laptop on my lap. Now, a week later, it's back. 

The second worst thing about a heat wave, next to sleep deprivation, is that it affects everyone. Look no farther than the bus for flat hair, sunken eyes and clinging t-shirts (thankfully people were still wearing them). Every Tom, Dick, and Harry (family, friend or colleague) in a 100 km radius had a violin playing their song and sympathy left the city like fresh air. I started going through withdrawal.  I needed a hit of pity and I needed it quick. So when my husband was skyping with his mother, I threw my head onto the screen to deliver the bad news. "It's really hot here."

“It’s really cold here,” she replied. 

“Uh huh. But we’ve had record breaking temperatures,” I said, wiping my brow in case she couldn't see the sweat. She was 'down under' where it's currently winter. She was also sleeping in a trailer but really, it's Australia.

“We have too.” Then she pulled her shawl around her shoulders and I could see I was in for some competition.

"I have to wash my hair three times a day."

“I sleep with socks, three blankets and a hoodie.”

“It hasn’t dip below 27 oC (80.6 F).”

“We got snow for the first time in 30 years.

“We’ve got duck lice.” I read about this problem in the paper. There were warnings about swimming in the lake. Not sure how it correlated with the heat but it didn't sound normal.

"And gale force winds."

"We have no wind. The heat just sits on you, like sadness."

“My heater broke.” 

Ugh. FINE! You win. 

And I lose, again. Poor me, I thought. Poor, poor me.

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