January 7, 2014

Holidays with the Family

“I don’t feel so well.”

“You just over indulged.”

“What’s wrong?”

“My stomach. And I have a headache.”

“Grandma, you have pink nails?”

“You just over ate. Too much food. Too much drink. I do it every year.”

“Like a migraine?”

“Maybe. I’ve never had one. I’m never sick.”

“Where’d you get pink nails?”

“Try chewing these papaya seeds. They help with digestion.”

“A nice lady at the salon painted them.”

“If you have stomach problems I think you should stop drinking coffee.”

“I’ll make some Elderberry tea.”

“I want pink nails.”

“Do you have a fever?”

“I want mango.”

“No, but I have chills. I’m dizzy, I can’t eat and I keep going to the bathroom. My mouth is really dry.”

“You’re probably just dehydrated.”

“I want mango ice blocks.”

“You ate all the mango. Remember?”

“I also have this weird pain in my thigh.”

“Do you want some Tylenol?”

“I took four Aleve. They don’t seem to be helping.”


“That’s why you’re sick.”

“Maybe it’s something you ate.”

“But we all ate the same thing.”


“Maybe it’s Legionnaires’ Disease. Your air conditioner’s been on all week.”

“Hence the chills.”

“Good morning all.”

“I’m going back to bed.”

“Why are you limping?”

“I twisted my ankle yesterday trying to get the kite in the air.”

“I want some water.”

“It’s really swollen. You should put some ice on that.”

“It’s ok.”

“I don’t want that water. I want bubbly water!”

“I might go to the gym to work it out. Has anyone seen the T.E.N.S machine?”

“I was using it last night. It’s in the living room.”

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“I pulled my shoulder. Probably from holding down that pig.”

“The one we ate last night?”

“Uncle Cam, you have a Band-Aid on your toe?”


“Why do you have a Band-Aid on your toe?”

“Something bit me.”

“I wanna Band-Aid.”

“Something bit you?”

“Yesterday in the lake.”

“A crocodile.”


“Where’d you get the Band-Aid?”

“From the man at the pharmacy.”

“Or a snake.”

“You probably just stepped on glass.”

“I think it was a turtle.”

“I wanna Band-Aid.”

“You don’t have a boo-boo.”

“My arm hurts.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Actually I noticed she hasn’t been using that arm for the last two days.”

“Did you hurt your arm, sweetie?”

“I was twirling her around in the backyard. Suddenly she complained about her wrist but she didn’t cry.”

“Did you hurt your wrist?”

“Don’t touch!”

“Do you want a kiss to make it better.”

“I wanna Band-Aid.”

“Where’s your sister?”

“She’s still in bed. She ate cheese.”

“I’ll make some pear juice.”

“She can’t eat cheese?”

“She gets constipated. Sometimes it takes days. It’s not pretty.”

“You have blue earrings Aunti Tashi? Where’d you get blue earrings?”

“From Turkey.”

“Who’s Turkey?”

“It’s a country.”


“I’m just back for some water.”

“You feel better now, grandma?”

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