October 18, 2012

Another Bedtime Story

“Was that you?”

My husband is sitting upright in bed. He was asleep but now he’s panting. Nightmare. He rarely remembers his dreams so this one must have been vivid.

“Yes, it’s me,” I sooth.

“Was that you?”

“Yes it’s me. You’re ok.”

“So it was you? You touched my head?”

“It was just a dream.”

“But you touched me?"

What the hell was he talking about? Yes?

This doesn’t calm him. He is pretty adamant that something else is in the bed so I jump out and turn on the lights. ‘See’ I proclaim before looking down at the rodent scurry about my feet. Snakes, spiders, maggots; if there’s one thing my husband can’t stand its mice and so he’s screaming along with me.

The next day we must explain to his mother, sister and her husband why we are sleeping in the living room, that there is no rift in the marriage.

“There was a mouse.”

They nod politely making us feel foolish. We are, after all, staying at a cottage but I’ll be damned if I don’t get some empathy for the trauma we experienced.

“There was a mouse. He was really big. He ran across Cam’s face and it’s still in there warming up the bed.”

“What? Ew! His face? Gross!”

There. That’s better.


  1. I'm with him; I'd not a scaredy cat with most things, but mice? Euuugh! I'm a little bitch. I had one run across my bare foot recently under my desk and I thought I had just caught my foot on a wire, then it happened again, and then I heard the wires moving behind a little bookcase nearby and saw the bloody thing. We've eradicated them from the building now, poor things, but you have to do what you have to do, but get this; when I went to my sock drawer, crammed with them, I was rifling through and there was a dead mouse in the middle! Plus, I think I might have to get a new cleaning lady; some weeks later,I found another dead mouse under the dog bed when I went to put it in the laundry - obviously been there a while! While they are gone now, I can, and will for life, no longer trust opening a drawer, plus I do lie in bed and every little noise I hear, I now think is a mouse that will crawl over me in the night.

    1. Geesh, are you living in a barn? Definitely replace that cleaning lady. If she's missing dead mice lord knows what else has scurried past her. Wouldn't recommend getting a cat, though. Rather find whole mice than bits and pieces.

  2. My cat likes to gift me with mice so she brings them inside. Many a nightly wander has led to encounters of the furry kind. Yikes is all I can say. One time, I opened the fridge and a mouse was inside. I have no idea how it got there.