"Tell me a story."
This is a
request I have for my husband every night before I fall asleep. The best he's
come up with is There once was a princess
named Natasha who never wanted to go to sleep…
Actually, that's not true. I love sleep,
especially when it's raining hard outside like it did last night but I also
have this ingrained childhood habit to stall bedtime. Another story, another
round of kisses, a pee break followed by a glass of water, I can't sleep
without this disruptive ritual. My two-year-old niece is going to love hanging
out with me.
My husband, on the other hand, plays dead. I
know he can hear me. I still have his earplugs in my hand. I'm a professional.
Don't mess with me.
"It's sleepy time," he mumbles.
Predictable.
"Hon, does my right breast look larger
than the left?"
"No," he muffles through the
pillow without looking up. Six years of marriage, been there
and seen that.
"Did you lock the door?"
"Yes."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No."
"Is there a full moon tonight?"
No response.
"Sweetie…"
"What?"
One day he'll tell me a lofty tale about
computer operating systems or intracellular endosomal trafficking and realise
it is the only weapon he needs for a good night sleep. I'm pretty sure that
could kill me. In the meantime I have managed to irritate him. Can't go to
sleep angry. What would my niece do?
"I just wanted to know…. what would you
like for Christmas?"
He chuckles. He rolls over.
Phew
Until tomorrow old man. Until tomorrow.
Well I'm sorry... but one word comes to mind here - chloroform!
ReplyDeleteHa! For me or him?
ReplyDeletehehe. This is funny. I like seeing the peek into your world. It sounds like you two are very comfy with each other.
ReplyDeleteThanks Michael. Yes we are comfy with each other and thankfully not enough. The bathroom door is always closed ;)
DeleteHaha! I ask my young man for stories when we talk on the phone before I go to bed. I usually also get "There once was a princess named Callie..."
ReplyDeleteI'm going to show this to my husband as proof positive there are some men out there who have it worse than he does. Perhaps he'll feel not so alone/persecuted/tired.
ReplyDelete