January 26, 2012

Versatility in a Lazy World

The other day I popped into the grocery store for some sesame bagels. They didn’t have any. Instead I found myself in the check-out line with a 42 mini-pack of Kleenex. 42 mini-packs is overkill but flu season’s upon us and I like to be prepared. You know, in case I’m stuck using a public washroom that’s covered in messages written with a questionable substance. Besides, in Switzerland they make the tissue 4ply!! It’s practically a pillow being shoved up my nose and I’d be an idiot to pass over that type of luxury.

The sign said 20% off but after waiting in line the cashier told me the discount only applied if I bought two packages. 

“Dude, be serious.”

“It’s two packages for 20% off.”

“That’s not what the sign says.”

“Do you want it or not.”

I stood there and did the math. 42..84...840 pieces of tissue....$5.95...$11.90...$9.52...that's 11 cents a package. Sounds good..but wait, I don't need 84 packs  of kleenex. 

"No," says Stobby, "but you do need a new pillow."

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